You Drowned In The Poo
by Millenia Marik
Summary: If you bother reading this, I warn you.... POO! Poo YU-gi-oh Rod Hehehe...


Beware. You are about to read a fic that will completely leave you baffled and you might find yourself drowned in poo! My brother decided it was time to write a story, so that's what this is. In case you want to cry after reading this, that's ok, but hopefully you'll just laugh. Send all complaints to dragon@dragon-lair.org and remember Arikua, I VANT TO SNIFF UR BAHT.  
  
Yami Marik stood near the foyer, adjusting his sunglasses and peering across the room at Yugi. "Pitiful little sod," he mumbled dryly, scowling at the teenager and his friends. "I should kill them all. In fact, I think I will." He gripped his rod tightly, until his fingers turned white at the knuckles, snarling some more.  
  
Meanwhile, Seto Kaiba was found upstairs in his office, which somehow had a swimming pool built into the floor. It was a small swimming pool with little frilly towels, and Kaiba was swimming around with a small inflatable duck. It went 'squeak' whenever he shifted positions. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. "WHAT? I am busy. Explain yourself!"  
  
The door flew open, and Marik strode in. "I want to kill Tea," he said. Kaiba shrugged. "Okay. But then would you like to join me in the poo?" Marik blinked several times. He looked at the kiddy pool and the small rubber inflatable duck. "Um.." With that, Yami Marik strode out of Kaiba's office. Minutes later, there was another knock on the door. "WHAT?! I AM BUSY!" shouted Kaiba.  
  
"It's me, Lector." Said a voice from the hallway. "What do you want, fool?" Kaiba asked. "Make it good, or I'll have you fired." Lector strode into the room without a word, making his way over to the pool. Suddenly, he jumped up in the air, beginning to turn around. His hands fell to the flaps of his suit coat, gripping its tails firmly. He pulled them up and out of the way of his firm rump. "Hey, Mr. Kaiba!" he yelled, while in midair, seconds before crashing down into the pool with his butt in Kaiba's face. A raunchy fart blasted out of his anus, ruffling his pants violently as it roared into Kaiba's face. The smell was absolutely deathlike, as if it came out of a coffin buried for three thousand years; a true ancient terror. Kaiba turned green, and fell over, drowning in the poo.  
  
Lector went 'hrrrr,' then turned around and walked out of the office. He found Marik in the hallway, and the white-haired Bakura was found nearby, on his knees, with Marik's golden rod shoved deeply into his mouth. Marik was whipping Bakura's bare butt with a towel, and shouting 'SUCK IT, BOY, SUCK IT!" as he thrusted the rod in and out of Bakura's mouth. Lector calmly walked up to the pair. "Hey, Mr. Bakura." he said, turning around and jumping into Bakura's face, butt-first. His pants tore down the middle, his butthole against Bakura's pointy little nose, and then, a horrible rumble came forth from his hole. A splatter of sharp brown stuff was forced up Bakura's nose, and in an instant, both Bakura and his Yami were destroyed forever, stabbed to death by Lector's Sharp Fart.  
  
Marik looked on in horror. His eyebrows were raised, his eyes themselves were bulging wide, and both of his hands were cupped over his nose and mouth. Screaming like a small child, he threw his rod up into the air and ran the other direction, shouting incoherently about Lector's hairy butt and ripping pants. Lector laughed deeply, before velcroing his pants back together and running after Marik. "Hey, Mr. Squishtar!" he yelled, but unfortunately, Marik was too athletic for the aging Lector, and managed to swing over a fire escape and make a handy getaway.  
  
With water dripping down his buttcrack, and pooling off of his clothes, Lector smirked, and made his way down the main staircase into the lobby. Everyone turned and looked at him, Yugi included. For some queer reason, Yugi, being gay, turned into Yami Yugi. "YOU!" he accused Lector. "But how?! Noah destroyed you!" Lector chuckled deeply, patting his round belly and sending a wave of fat jiggling within the confines of his business suit. "One moment, Mr. Pharaoh." He took out some hair gel, spiking up his hair to a sharp tip, and doing the same with his beard. Tea gasped. "HE sunk the Titanic!"  
  
"No, Ms. Tea," replied Lector, pointing to Tristan. Tristan was stuck in the wall via his sharp hair, which appeared to be completely made out of metal -- or perhaps dried feces, it was impossible to tell. "Help! I smell like fart! I from Russia!" he yelled, and everyone looked at him oddly. Yami Marik suddenly appeared behind Tristan. He yelled, 'HRRRR', and kicked Tristan square in the ass, before disappearing again. Suffice to say, Tristan flew through the wall and across Battle City until he landed in the sewage treatment plant, drowning in the poo. At least he felt more at home in the septic tank.  
  
Lector giggled like a schoolgirl, then cleared his throat and chuckled deeply. He ripped off his pants, amazing everyone with the tighty-whities underneath, stained a deep brown for some reason or other. The stench that began to fill the room was unbearable. "We must get out of here!" exclaimed Yugi, and he pushed Tea toward the door. Tea died, and that's that, because she doesn't deserve anything else. Just let it be known that she drowned in the poo. Yugi gripped his puzzle. "Yami! I need you!" Unfortunately, the room had a horrible echo to it.  
  
Yami Yugi suddenly took over for Yugi, and then the echo continued. Yami Yugi turned into Yami Yami Yugi, and his hair doubled in size. Another echo, and Yami Yami Yami Yugi was born. After several more echoes, Yami Yami Yami Yami Yami Yami Yami Yami Super Yami Yugi SSJ9 made his appearance. "NOW MARIK, YOU SHALL DIE!" he exclaimed, moments before his ten tons of fifty-foot tall hair sent him tumbling to the floor, unable to get up. "..um, someone.. *clear throat* SOMEONE GET ME SOME SCISSORS." His voice was so low that it sounded like a dog growling, and the millenium puzzle, now the size of a car, was wedged between his butt cheeks.  
  
Serenity, Duke and Joey came running in at the racket, and Lector laughed out loud. "Hey, Mr. Wheeler!" he shouted, jumping up into the air and executing a reverse-buttgrab, where his cheeks gripped onto the sides of Joey's face. A raucous, enormous fart bursted from his anus, sharp and cheesy. The hot emissions of gas flooded Joey's nostrils, and then his lungs. He never had a chance, and he drowned in the poo.  
  
Serenity gasped. "JOEY!" She slapped Lector, sending particles of shit from his mouth. He went, 'HRRR' and slapped her back. "Damn hrr virus, I must have caught it from Marik!" Duke smirked. "Serenity, calm down, Joey's no big loss." Serenity looked wide-eyed at Duke. Suddenly, both Duke and Lector jumped up into the air, one of them landing on either side of her. In chorus, they said 'HEY, MS. WHEELER!" and both of them let out extremely diarrheic, splattering farts that covered her from head to toe in a thick layer of feces. She drowned in the poo.  
  
Yami Yami Yami x10 Super SSJ4000 Yugi, whose hair kept growing to the size of the entire building, yelled "LECTOR! " Suddenly, Judgeman fell from the ceiling. Yugi tried to grab Judgeman with his hair, but Jinzo shot a laser beam out of his anus, cutting Yugi's own anus off and rendering him powerless. The mechanical fart emailed its way into Yugi's brain, frying all of his memories and rewriting his neural pathways. Yugi opened his mouth to speak, and said, "I am the very model of a modern major general, I like to lick the poo off Lector's butt and sniff it all day long." Judgeman suddenly shit out Johnson, who said, "The evidence before the court is incontrovertible! There's no need for my buttcheeks to devour!" He then crawled back into Judgeman's anus, and both Judgeman and Jinzo put one fist in the air and, riding giant fart trails, flew away like gay Powerpuff Girls.  
  
Marik, still running down the street at a full-out sprint, passed Mai Valentine, nearly bowling her over. He stopped, grabbing her boobs and giving them a firm squeeze. "BOOBIES!" he yelled with a maniacal grin, before continuing to run down the street. Mai shrugged, used to such attention, and continued to the mansion.  
  
She walked in the door, and right into Lector's exposed butt! "NO!" she yelled, but her cry was muffled by the sheer size and sound of Lector's ass. The low rumble from his butt grew to a deafening roar, and finally, he shat. He didn't fart, he simply shat. The feces slammed into Mai's face, sending her tumbling head over heels in the other direction. She landed against Yugi's butt, and Yugi farted, sending her flying in another direction. Finally, she got blown up into the air by another Lector fart, where she found Judgeman and Jinzo and was never heard from again. We suspect she drowned in the poo.  
  
And so, the moral of the story is, whenever you see Arikua walking down the street, you should probably run the other way. She works for Lector, she has a big, plump butt, and.. well.. *whispers* she might make you drown in the poo, too. 


End file.
